5.29.2023 - Dose of Growth
The more you want something, the harder it is to attain.
The more you try to force something to go your way, the further off-track it goes.
This is the paradox of control.
And much of your suffering results from trying to control things outside your control.
Instead, learn to direct the need to manage your external circumstances inward and become a master of yourself.
In today’s dose of growth, we discuss the importance of self-mastery and how to master self-control through radical accountability.
Self-Mastery is a Tool for Greatness
There are two types of people in this world:
Type A: People that emotionally react to every external circumstance and blame others for their misfortunes. This reaction creates a cycle of helplessness, where they feel constantly at the mercy of the world around them.
Type B: Those that are relentlessly responsible and accountable for every result of their actions, good and bad. These individuals understand that while they cannot control everything around them, they can control their responses, attitudes, and actions. They embody the principle of self-mastery, allowing them to navigate through life's highs and lows with grace and wisdom.
Which one are you?
Identifying where you currently stand is essential because self-awareness is the first step toward growth.
If you're starting on the path of self-mastery or even if you've been journeying for a while, the book "Mastery" by Robert Greene is highly recommended.
Greene illustrates in his book that “Everything that happens to you is a form of instruction if you pay attention.”
Exercise: Take a moment to think about the best and worst things that have happened to you. What have you learned from those experiences? Write down whatever insights and lessons come to mind.
In learning to take a moment to reflect on your life experiences, you give yourself time to deconstruct the wisdom that comes from your greatest joys and deepest pains.
As you embrace a growth mindset, you start to see every experience, good or bad, as an opportunity for learning and growth.
Through this understanding, you can start the process of self-mastery.
Take Control of Your Life Through Accountability
Developing control of your thoughts, actions, and life experience starts with radical acceptance of your life as it is now.
Even if you do not have your desired life yet, accept responsibility for the choices that have gotten you here.
Be compassionate with yourself in understanding that you made the best decisions you could with the information you had available to you at the time.
But the first step to change is radical acceptance, which starts with you.
You can start to change once you take accountability for the actions and choices that got you to where you are today.
Exercise: Think back to a time when everything was going well. What did you do or stop doing, and how might that have led to your present situation? Write down whatever insights come to mind.
Now that you’ve done this exercise, you know your true power: freedom to choose.
Even if you’ve made undesirable choices up until now, you can make different choices and take other actions.
Remember, you must take different actions if you want a different outcome.
Habits as Pillars of Change
You are your daily habits
Your habits — those recurring actions, big and small, that you may hardly notice — cumulatively define your life.
They shape your health, productivity, relationships, and, ultimately, your happiness.
Consider this: by reading a book for just 20 minutes a day, you can finish roughly 20 books in a year. If you keep up this habit, imagine the wealth of knowledge you'll acquire over a decade.
Conversely, unhealthy habits, like smoking or excessive screen time, can slowly but surely deteriorate your well-being over time.
Examining your habits gives you insights into the subconscious choices that shape your life.
You can understand why you are where you are today and, more importantly, how you can get to where you want to be.
Mastering your habits, therefore, is mastering yourself.
It is about making conscious decisions about which habits to cultivate and which to discard, aligning your actions with your values, and persistently working towards becoming the person you aspire to be.
So if you want to change or reinvent yourself, start with your daily habits.
Track what you do with your time on a day-to-day basis.
Do you quickly move from one task to the next, or do you take constant breaks to check social media, reply to messages, or look for videos on YouTube?
You can take this a step further by writing a to-do list of everything done and tracking how effectively you dedicated your time to completing the tasks on that list.
Final Thoughts
As you develop the habit of introspection and conscious decision-making, you will start experiencing the transformative power of well-crafted habits.
Winston Churchill once said, “The price of greatness is responsibility.”
If you want to be great, start by being more responsible for your thoughts, actions, and life experience.
If you enjoy today’s Dose of Growth, subscribe to the mailing list and join our community of high-performers obsessed with self-mastery, a growth mindset, and the pursuit of greatness.
